Big Dreams, Courage and Smallness

"Oh shit"

That was my first thought as I looked at what I had just written on the page of my journal. 

"Where did that come from?"

My instinct was to quickly cross it out and deny it had ever happened. My actual response was to send an email to my coach explaining what I had just written so there was no way I could avoid it. 

You see, there on a page of my journal and mid stream of consciousness appeared a bold statement. A big dream I wasn't even aware I held. 

As soon as the words hit the page I could feel the electric energy coursing through my body, my stomach fluttered. Yes, it felt authentic. 

Then...

Panic. The urge to deny my dream, to squash it. 

Why?

Because writing it down meant it was out there in the universe and now I had a responsibility to step up and own it. And it felt big, HUGE.

"Who am I to have a dream this big?"

"It's ridiculous, I don't even know where to start"

"I can't tell people about this, they will think I am crazy". 

Have you ever experienced this? The rush of a new idea followed promptly by self-doubt and fear. I have dropped many projects in the past because I let the fear and doubt take a hold. I was too scared to step out of my comfort zone and take a risk. 

What happened? 

Nothing. 

Things remained the same. Nothing changed. I shut the door to the opportunity to grow and create and build something good. Great. 

This time around I recognised my pattern - and I changed it. I took it to my coach and explored it, I evaluated the risk and then, and here is the thing, I made the decision to act or not based on how I felt. And more importantly, how I want to feel. 

Am I still afraid of what might happen? Does this still feel too big for me? Absolutely, sometimes. But being courageous means acknowledging the fear and acting anyway. {Tweet it}

If you are dreaming of something today but feeling too small, or not worthy of your dream - take a small step towards it anyway. And see how it feels.