5 strategies to improve your self confidence
We all have days where we wake up and don’t feel our best. Days where all we can focus on are our ‘flaws’, or we are held back by a fear of failure.
Low self-esteem stops us from living life fully - it affects our relationships and ability to express love, it impacts on our work and often we adopt less than helpful behaviours as a way to cope.
Coaching can have a very positive effect on our level of confidence. (One of the many great by-products of the process.) While this does not happen overnight and requires repeated effort, I have found that the following tools have been super helpful when working with clients to improve their confidence.
1. Remove negativity from your life
Do you find yourself getting triggered by things you see online or in the news? Perhaps there are people in your life who only ever have something negative to say?
Examine who or what you let into your life - will they support and lift you up, or will they bring you down? Stop following social media accounts that trigger you, be aware of what you are consuming online and in the news and avoid people who only ever have something negative to say.
It might sound harsh but your energy is a valuable asset and you need to protect it.
2. Get creative
A great way to boost your confidence is to give your creative spirit a workout. Don’t focus on the end result but instead really be present in the process. Whatever creative medium you choose - painting, photography, writing, cooking a new recipe - set aside some time to just play and explore.
3. Switch up your body language
Try it now - take a moment to notice your posture. Are you slouched and closed off or are you sitting tall? By simply adjusting our posture, we can instantly shift the way we think. Stand up tall, open your shoulders and chest and lift your gaze (no more shuffling along staring at the floor!)
4. Keep a happy file
Ever noticed how much easier it is to focus on what we think is wrong with us, rather than the bits we like? When we let our inner critic take over it can be near impossible to feel good about ourselves.
One thing I recommend to my clients is to keep a happy file. It might be a folder on your computer or a physical file, whatever works for you. The point is to create a space where you can gather positive snippets that you can look at whenever you are feeling down on yourself.
Whenever you receive something that makes you feel good, pop it in the folder. It might be a thank you note from a friend or a screenshot of a tweet someone shared praising a blog post you wrote. Maybe your boss congratulated you on a job well done - note it down and add it to your file. Whenever you catch yourself subscribing to self-doubt, open up the file.
5. Realise feelings and thoughts are not facts
How many times have you heard yourself say: I’m upset, or I’m angry, or I’m happy? Stop for a moment and consider what you are actually saying. You are saying “I am …. (insert emotion here).” Whether you mean to or not, you are defining yourself as being your emotions and feelings.
Thoughts and feelings come and go. When we learn to detach ourselves from our thoughts and feelings we experience a greater sense of peace and self-worth. For example, instead of seeing yourself as angry, recognise you are experiencing anger. See how different that perspective is?
When we learn to observe our thoughts and feelings we are able to release them more quickly. Instead of subscribing to the stories we tell ourself, we can choose to question them and take a more positive perspective.
Implementing some of these strategies can help you to improve your confidence and have the power to create change in your life. Feeling more confident is one part of living a happier, more fulfilling, heart-led life.
Over to you - I’d love to know your tips for boosting your confidence. What has worked well for you?
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