3 steps to consciously create a life you love
One of the questions I get asked the most as a business owner, entrepreneur, and as a coach is... how do I find the time for everything? How do I have the time to build my business, focus on self-care and spend time with my family?
There are 2 parts to my answer:
- I'm super clear on my vision of my ideal life
- I'm hot on prioritising what is most important to me, and what is aligned with how I want my life to look and feel
But it hasn’t always been the case. Like many of you, I’ve taken on too much, I’ve found it hard to say no and set boundaries, I’ve not always known what I want, I’ve done things because I wanted approval.
To get to where I am, in a space where I consciously create my own life - I've had to practice, I’ve had to commit, I’ve had to be consistent and show up for myself.
So, how do you start to consciously create life by your design? Today I'm sharing 3 steps to help you get there.
1. Get rooted in your vision
The first step in consciously creating life by your own design is to be crystal-clear on your vision for your ideal life. Who you are in that vision, what work you do, why you do it.
I'm not just talking about creating a pretty vision board (although go do that!), I'm talking about really feeling your vision. Letting yourself dream and tuning into how those dreams feel.
You can have anything you commit to, and you can work to make it happen. The problem is that so often we don't let ourselves dream big enough. We don't really tune into what we deeply desire.
The more you allow yourself to dream, the more you get rooted into your vision, the more capacity you have to receive.
I want you to imagine that’s it 2 years from now and everything that you want for your life has happened. I want you to just notice where you are. What are your surroundings like? What can you hear? What can you see?
In front of you is a mirror, just take a moment now to view your reflection. What does the person in the mirror look like? How are you different? What are you wearing?
What is your energy like?
What do you spend your time doing? What does work look like for you?
Do you work alone or with others? Do you work at home or in an office, or somewhere entirely different… on a beach, in a coffee shop?
What activities do you do each day?
What else do you spend your time doing each day? Who is there with you?
Imagine it’s the end of the day, 2 years in the future and you are getting ready to go to sleep. How do you feel?
What are you grateful for?
Tip! Read to the end of the post to get my FREE Ideal Life guided visualisation and workbook!
2. Set boundaries
I want to talk about the concept of work/life balance for a minute. I believe that work/life balance doesn’t really exist because work and life happen at the same time and we shouldn’t have to trade one for the other.
I know that this goes against what we are often taught. If like me, you have a corporate or traditional 9-5 background, then it can be really hard to embrace the concept of life and work flowing seamlessly together. We live in a world where we have to ask permission to visit a doctor when we are sick, or we need to find someone to look after our children when they have an unexpected day off school. So it can be hard to imagine it doesn’t have to be like this.
But it’s true. The key is to design your life so that everything is in flow and alignment.
You've already started by visualising your ideal life.
The next step is to set supportive boundaries. What I mean by that is learning to say no to things that are not in alignment with that vision you hold for yourself. Now, I can almost hear those of you with people pleasing tendencies getting all uncomfortable and fidgeting in your seat right now, but the truth is… you have to show up for yourself and your vision.
You are in control of designing your life to be how you want it to be, so you have to get really comfortable with saying no to anything that doesn’t support it.
Your action step here is to take out your journal and jot down anything in your life that is not in alignment with your vision. Anything that no longer serves you, anything you do because it’s expected or because you want approval. Get it all out on paper.
Ok, now I’m not going to ask you to just instantly stop doing everything (although if you feel called to then go for it), but I’d like you to start with a small thing from your list and think about how you can create change to be more aligned?
So maybe you have been taking on projects in your business or work that you know aren’t the right fit, but you do it anyway because you don’t want to turn down work.
How would saying no, open up space for things that are more aligned?
Because that’s the truth of it - everything you say yes to that isn’t in alignment with your vision, means that you are saying no to something else that is.
So how can you make space?
3. Take aligned action (and drop the guilt!)
When I first started my business, I found it really hard to switch off from it. I felt guilty if I wasn’t spending every moment I was awake working. The reason for that is that we hold outdated beliefs about what having success requires.
How many times have you heard or thought something like this…
To be successful, you have to make sacrifices
Successful entrepreneurs get up at 4am and work until midnight
If you work less that 40 hours a week you are lazy
There is no such thing as having it all
More work, less play
If you’re not working, you’re losing money
Many of us, when we think of business owners, we think of overworked, busy people who are constantly switched on. The reality is actually very different - look at Richard Branson for example, sure he works hard to grow his empire but he also values play. He hosts meetings on his private island so he can also spend time doing what he loves - playing tennis, spending time with his family etc.
You might not have a private island but the point is, if one of the most successful entrepreneurs (ever) values play, you should too.
If you are making all your decisions to be in alignment with your vision for life, things flow. You don’t need to push and strive. Yes you need to do the work, you need to show up and take consistent action daily, but you will be focused on exactly what it is you need to do.
You get to decide what is important, if you only want to work a couple of hours a day and spend the rest with your children… awesome. Figure out where your focus needs to be and act in alignment with that, no guilt.
Your action step - look at where you are spending your time now. Is it in alignment with how you want your life to look? How can you bring more focus to your day?
Grab your free Ideal Life Toolkit to access a guided visualisation and workbook, to help you get crystal-clear on your vision.