How you're sabotaging your happiness without even realising it

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Do you wish you were happier? Or more successful? 

6 years ago, I was miserable. I was so tired of my life - my corporate job, the endless cycle of work/sleep/work and several failed relationships had left me wondering if I was actually able to be happy. 

Happiness was something other people experienced, but not me. 

It never once occurred to me that I actually had some control over my life and ultimately my own happiness. 

But that's the truth. 

Circumstances might not always be what we would like and are often out of our control but usually, the biggest barrier to happiness is ourself. 

Here are 4 ways you might be sabotaging your own happiness without even realising it... 

1. You ask everyone else's advice instead of trusting yourself

In a world where we have instant access to Google and there are thousands of 'experts' on every topic, we seem to have lost our ability to trust ourselves. 

I used to always be looking for validation and I was constantly second-guessing myself which left me feeling overwhelmed and confused. Learning to tune out the noise and tune into my own intuition means that I make decisions that feel aligned with who I am. 

2. You give in to obligation                                                   

At work and at home, it's easy to say "yes" so often, you forget what you're saying "yes" to. I think as women, we have a natural affinity to want to take care and please those around us. But, I've learned that if we want to show up fully - for our vision, our work and our relationships, we need to learn to say no sometimes. 

Before you take something on, ask yourself if it feels in alignment - will it light you up in some way? 

Of course, there are things we sometimes have to do that maybe we would rather not take on (especially true if you are a parent), but where else could you set healthier boundaries? 

3. You're obsessed with the outcome, not the process

When we are emotionally attached to a specific outcome, we are focused on what we don't already have. As a recovering perfectionist I'm still learning this. My natural tendency is to try to control everything to get the outcome I want. Honestly, it almost always leaves me feeling stressed and stuck. Shifting our focus to the process or the effort allows us to move forward whilst embodying an energy of surrender. 

4. You want things to change, but you don't do anything to change them

How much time do you spend *wishing* your life looked different? How much time do you spend doing something about it? 

It took years of dreaming of a different, happier life, for me to actually get around to creating change. 

There are a number of reasons why we don't go after the things we desire. We give into fear. We subscribe to the stories that we're not good enough or that we don't have enough time/money. 

If you want something to change, you have to take the first step and let the universe meet you halfway. Start small if you like, it doesn't matter. The key is to shift the routine, the energy.

Remember, we are always only ever one decision away from a completely different life. 

Love + gratitude,

Gemma xo